3 Ways to Deal with the Death of a Patient
Whether you’re a hospice nurse, work on the oncology floor, or in the ICU, you are never really ready for a patient dying. You have spent so days with this patient getting to know him or her, and you have met their family and establish a relationship with them. You also what the patient did for a living, when they met his or her spouse, the fun vacations they had with their family. They become your family member and you have become their family member.
And because of the familial connectedness with your patient saying goodbye is never easy. No matter how long you have been a nurse, or how comfortable you feel with death. Losing a patient can be difficult.
As a hospice nurse, I have lost many patients. Some patients I had a great connection with and I helped them when no one else was there. Other patients, I had a great relationship with their families and I really helped them with deal with the loosing their loved on. From my experience, I have listed 3 ways that have been helpful to deal with your dying patient.
Remember the good times. When I have been grieving I made a conscious decision to recall the good times. It seemed to always be the way to get out of my sadness. I remember our conversations, the jokes passed between each other, and most of all their smiles. Many patients don’t get a lot of visitors, particularly patients residing in care facilities so, their face lit up when I came to visit my patients. A smiling face is one of those things you never forget. There are many smiling faces that I will never forget. Maybe you and patient had something in common or your patient taught you something. Recalling those special moments of connection or insight helps you celebrate who they were and how they have helped you become a better nurse.
Talk with your fellow nurses. I have been a hospice nurse for four years. Like many nurse specialities, there is always something to learn from your experienced nurses. Talking about feelings of loss is an example of leaning on and learning from your fellow nurses. Nursing shouldn’t be isolated. You should be able to express your feelings to your co-workers. They may have some insight for you. They may share their stories of loss and grieving with you.
Reach out to their family. This last tip can be difficult. Reaching out to a grieving family can be overwhelming to the family. However, sending a note and bouquet of flowers seem to be fitting. You don’t want to intrude but, you want to let them know that your relationship with their loved one was special to you and that getting to know the family was special as well. The family may be receptive and you may have the opportunity to develop a lasting relationship with that family.
If you’re grieving starts to affect your work, consider seeing a counselor. Reaching out for counseling can always be positive. Sometimes nurses need help to and we shouldn’t feel afraid to look for help. Anyone who deals with death is a special person. It takes a lot to take on the responsibility to help guide a family through one of the most difficult times in their lives. Stay strong and stay true to you!