3 Tips to Set Firm Boundaries
Setting firm boundaries is an important way to take care of yourself. Defining what you will stand for and what you will not is a journey that should not be taken lightly. So many of us let people run us over, perhaps not intentionally, but it happens. Communicating our needs and desires clearly is how we take care of ourselves.
Prioritize Time for Yourself
You are your number one priority. You may have children, aging parents, spouses, etc. to take care of but if you are not at your best you will not be able to take care of them. Taking time for yourself can look like taking a walk in your neighborhood, taking a fitness class at the gym, taking a yoga class, journaling, or catching up on your favorite tv show. The great thing is that you get to decide how you want and need to take care of yourself. You know what your heart desires and what you enjoy the most. You get to decide what you do to prioritize yourself.
By taking time to prioritize yourself, you begin to understand that you have needs and desires. You begin to understand that you are important. You begin to understand that in order for you to be there for others, you need to be firm and set time for you to refuel and reenergize. By understanding this valuable need to prioritize yourself. you know when you need to say yes and when you need to say no.
2. Say No to Preserve Your Energy
Growing up we were told to “Just Say No.” This phrase, as we know, was meant for us young children to say no to drugs. However, it is a good phrase to keep using even now as adults. Some may feel uncomfortable saying no because we have been taught, also, that saying no was not appropriate. I think of small toddlers running around saying “no” to everything. Do you want to eat lunch? No! Do you want to take a nap? No! Do you want to give Grandpa a hug? No! We should be so wildly free like toddles and easily say no to requests.
Saying no is an important skill to learn. At first, we may not always feel comfortable saying no especially if we are people-pleasers or people who love helping others. I get it. I love helping people. Saying no, for me, was very difficult at first. I prioritized what was important to me and everything could just wait or move on. I started saying “no” to those things that could wait and it started to build my confidence. With practice, I started saying “no” to the things that mattered to me. Sometimes a “no” does not mean never. It can also mean “not right now.” If you have a full plate, it’s ok to say “not right now” especially to the things you love.
3. Develop a Sense of Identity
Developing a sense of identity basically means that you do not change yourself to fit in with other people. By prioritizing time for yourself, you are giving yourself time to find yourself, find what you stand for, and find out what you is important to you. Once you know who you are, saying “not right now” or even “no, thank you” becomes easier. You know how you want to live your life and you only allow outside sources and people that lift you up to be in your circle.
Knowing who you are may take time but, it is a needed journey to be taken. Put yourself as priority number one when trying to find yourself. You define your terms and how you want to live your life. Recognizing when you can no longer take on another task or be a part of another person’s journey, is valuable not only to your emotional health but also your mental health.
These are three ways for you to identify your boundaries and how to set them. You are the leader in your life. You know what is important to you. Take the time to learn what you will stand for and what you will say “no” to.